


Cryptid Hunters

by everywinter



Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: Crack, Cryptid Hunters, Gen, Loosely based on Buzzfeed Unsolved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-16
Updated: 2018-09-16
Packaged: 2019-07-12 20:42:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16002920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/everywinter/pseuds/everywinter
Summary: Jae can't be tamed, Dowoon's an enabler, Wonpil likes to pull pranks, Brian REALLY wants to find this thing, and Sungjin regrets ever quitting his day job.





	Cryptid Hunters

**Author's Note:**

> There's literally no plot to this. It's just crack for fun.

“I’ve finally made it to Japan and it’s because we’re here to find the daddy of all tentacle hentai monsters.”

 

“Jesus Christ,” The look Sungjin shoots Jae could have curdled milk. “do you have to say it like that?”

 

“I wouldn’t say these things if he didn’t laugh.” Jae gestures at Dowoon, who desperately bites his lip, trying his best to steady the camera as his hands shake with laughter. “Look at him, he’s just so easy.”

 

“He wouldn’t have anything to laugh about if you didn’t always goad him.” Sungjin argues.

 

Jae holds up his hands in surrender. “I really don’t know what you want me to do then, because out viewers are here for my biting wit.”

 

“Don’t kid yourself, they’re here because Dowoon’s a real life cryptid.” Brian says, hand inching towards the food. “You got a shot of half his face on the go-pro once and our view count shot up by 30 percent, it’s insane.”

 

“Stop!” Wonpil reaches across Jae and slaps the sashimi out of Brian’s hand. “You’re going to ruin the shot!”

 

“I’m so hungry, I’m going to die. No one would have noticed that I took one piece.” Brian looks sadly at the piece of fish that has fallen onto the table. “Besides, Jae’s been eating since we sat down.”

 

Wonpil glares as Jae shrugs and pops another roll into his mouth. “Can’t be tamed.”

 

Dowoon’s stomach rumbles. “Are we done filming yet? I think my stomach is staring to digest itself.”

 

Sungjin closes his eyes and counts to ten. Then twenty. Then thirty. When he opens them again, Dowoon’s sitting across from Jae at the table and all four men are stuffing food into their mouths.

 

“Hurry and sit,” Dowoon pushes out the chair next to him with his foot as he continues to spoon unagi don into his mouth. “everything’s gonna get cold.”

 

He stands stone still, camera still recording, for a couple of seconds until Wonpil breaks the silence with a low groan. “Sungjin, you have to taste this fish, it’s amazing.”

 

“I hate all of you.” He sits down at the table and takes the offered plate of sushi from Wonpil. “This is why all of our videos have so many fucking cuts.”

 

* * *

 

 

**Welcome back to Cryptid Hunters! I’m your host, Jae-**

_I’m Wonpil-_

And I’m Brian.

 

**This episode, we’re in Japan to look for the legendary Akkorokamui. AKA: the Asian Kraken.**

 

Fucking hell, Jae, we agreed not to say that!

 

**We did not agree!**

 

It’s stupid, no one calls it that!

 

**I told you, we could totally make it a thing!**

 

_Okay then! Sungjin’s making his grumpy face, so let’s just move on. The Akkorokamui is a giant octopus that apparently lives in Volcano Bay, just off the south coast of Hokkado. The Akkorokamui is apparently as large as 110 meters in length, and vibrant red in colour, oftan described as incandescent and compared to the colour of the reflection of the setting sun on the water._

 

***groans* Why do always have to make it sound so cheesy?**

 

_Do you wanna write the script then?? I’m just going off the research!_

 

He doesn’t mean it, Pillie, go on.

 

_The Ainu people have always been scared of the Akkorokamui, due to its ability to flip boats. Fishermen often take weapons aboard their boats to protect themselves from the creature._

 

**Brian could just bring dipping sauce and eat his way through it.**

 

Oh my god.

 

_Heheheheheh…_

Why do you always have to bring my eating habits into this?

 

**You and Sungjin always eat like you’ll never see food again.**

 

_Oh, the grumpy face is back, better not to bring him into this._

 

THE POINT IS, we’re in Japan to find the Akkorokamui. Tonight, the three of us are going to Volcano Island in hopes of catching sight of the cryptid, and we’ll be taking you guys with us.

 

* * *

 

 

“We can’t fit more than three people in one boat, so we’re going to have to split up.” Sungjin checked the strap of his camera again, making sure it was properly secured to his hand.

 

“Not it.” Brian and Wonpil both say in a rush.

 

“I’m going in the three person boat.” Jae insists, clutching at Dowoon so hard he winces a little, eyes begging the others for help. “I need as much support as I can get.”

 

Wonpil and Brian are locked in a silent battle of the wills, both glaring furiously at the other.

 

“I took him when we looked for the Almas.” Wonpil says, “He dug his nails so hard into my arm, I had marks for a month.”

 

“He screamed directly into my ear when we went to look for the Kiting Voar, and that thing’s a herbivore. I actually had to go to the doctor to make sure he didn’t rupture my eardrum.”

 

“I did all your house-chores for a month when you broke your arm.”

 

“I wrote your eighth grade essay for you when you were sick with the flu and puking your guts out.”

 

“I lied to your mom and said that you were at my house when you snuck out to meet your girlfriend when we were 17.”

 

“I checked the bump you had-”

 

“ _Don’t._ ”

 

Brian raises his voice. “I checked the bump you had next to your dick when you were too scared to go to the doctor! You made me get three inches away from your penis for an ingrown hair!”

 

“Wow,” Jae’s voice is dry. “you guys really know how to make a guy feel wanted.”

 

“You promised you wouldn’t bring up the bump anymore.” Wonpil whines.

 

“You made me do it, Pil.” Brian puts a hand on Wonpil's shoulder and shakes him gently. "Come on, I really feel like I have a chance of finding this thing, but there's no way it'll come near our boat with all of Jae's yelling."

 

Sungjin rolls his eyes and Brain turns to him with a glare. "Why did you even agree to do this with us if you don't believe in cryptids! There's proof, Sungjin! People have seen it and there are years and years of documented sightings!"

 

"Okay, okay, fine! I'll go with Jae!" Wonpil clips on his life vest sullenly. “I hate you.”

 

* * *

 

 

“I hate all of you so much.” Sungjin says as he leans over the side of the boat, Wonpil gently rubbing his back as another wave of nausea rushes over him.

 

“Are you sure you didn’t eat something weird?” Wonpil asks, “We’ve been on boats before and you’ve never reacted like this.”

 

“This is a pretty little boat.” Jae says, zooming in on Sungjin’s back. “I don’t think we’ve been on one this small before.”

 

Sungjin glares at Jae over his shoulder. “Must you film this?”

 

“Hell yeah, the viewers love unexpected, behind the scenes, shit like this.”

 

“Wait,” Wonpil squints and points at something in the distance. “is it just me, or does it look like something’s moving in the distance over there?”

 

“What?” Jae squeaks, turning the camera in the direction Wonpil points. “Are you serious? You’re not fucking with me are you?”

 

Wonpil rolls his eyes. “Why would I mess with you? I’m being dead serious; I swear I saw something red flip up over there.”

 

Jae’s almost hyperventilating now and he struggles to keep the camera still. Wonpil turns on the motor and they make their way in the direction of the thing he saw. He kills the motor and the three of them sit in tense silence, waiting with baited breath for a glimpse of the Akkorokamui.

 

Sungjin retches over the side of the boat, Jae screams.

 

* * *

 

 

“Come on, it’ll be fun!”

 

“No.” Dowoon says, shoving the offending clothing items back at Wonpil. “I’m not wearing matching pyjamas with you!”

 

The offending pyjamas consist of a t-shirt with an octopus on it, black eyepatch and pirate hat on top of its smiling red head. The bottoms are a pair of black pants with little white anchors on them. It’s awful.

 

“But why not?” Wonpil whines, “It’ll be cute.”

 

“Why does it even matter? I’m not going to show up on camera.”

 

“But I’ll know!”

 

Dowoon shakes his head. “No!”

 

Wonpil widens his eyes and they immediately become shiny.

 

“Stop that.”

 

His lower lip trembles and he lets out a quiet sniff.

 

“Stop that!”

 

He blinks furiously and a single tear rolls down his face.

 

Dowoon groans in frustration, snatches the pyjamas out of Wonpil’s hands and stomps into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him.

 

Wonpil grins to himself, wiping his face on the back of his hand. “Gets him every time.”

 

When Dowoon comes out of the bathroom, Wonpil all but bounces in place in excitement. “This is going to be so much fun.” He says, passing Dowoon his camera. “Ready?”

 

“As I’ll ever be.” He says dryly, “Are you sure Jae’s already asleep?”

 

“Certain.” Wonpil nods. “He took the couch because he says he can’t sleep through Sungjin’s snoring.”

 

Dowoon snorts. “Ironic.”

 

The two creep into the dark living room of their Airbnb. Jae’s completely passed out on the couch, blankets pulled halfway up his face, breathing deep and even. Dowoon nods at Wonpil and he pulls out the slimy rubber octopus from its packaging. It jiggles in an unsettling way.

 

“Ready?” Wonpil mouths at Dowoon.

 

Dowoon crouches behind the back of the couch, camera trained on Jae’s sleeping face. “Ready.” He mouths back.

 

Wonpil counts down from three in his head and tosses the octopus onto sleeping Jae’s face.

 

The footage shows Wonpil tossing the octopus onto Jae, who screams and flails for several very entertaining seconds before ripping the octopus off his face. Wonpil runs around the living room, cackling as Jae chases him, before Jae turns his attention to Dowoon. A glimpse of Dowoon’s hair is shown as Jae wrestles the camera out of his hand and pummels him with his pillow. The footage ends with a shot of the pirate/octopus on Dowoon’s shirt as Jae tickles the life out of him, before a rudely awaken Sungjin stomps over to turn the camera off.

 

(What doesn’t make the video is Sungjin yelling at Wonpil and Dowoon for a good five minutes before stomping back to his room. Brian sleeps through the whole thing.)

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know either.
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/everywinter1)/[Tumblr](https://everywinter.tumblr.com/)


End file.
